searching for purpose...

picture of the day: the joy of laughter

quote of the day

"i seem to step out on clouds frequently, oddly i dnt fall thru."

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I have thought about purpose all of my life and almost all of the time.

I realized that when visiting journals that I had from the past. Not thinking I had a purpose almost killed me once. I had always wondered why exactly do I exist. I had to get past whether I existed fast in order to mantain my sanity. Yet, this concept of purpose and why are we here has interested me for so long. Because of my lack of belief in truth and faith I do not believe I can hold the exact answer to that question. I am actually happy that I can not. I have become such a rational being that it upsets me at times. Becoming so rational that once I believed that love did not exist. I ignored the blatant feelings that could not be rationalized away in the name of rationality.

Being home... once in a while I get to be apart of something awe amazing. Something that I sit back and watch in amazement. Within that amazement I feel apart, I feel as if in that moment this is why I breathe.

I experience that feeling when learning about the things that people are doing in order to stand for one another. I get that feeling when I hear the amazing poets that continuously begin to pop up in my life. I get that feeling when I speak listen & do life with people. I feel like... "THIS... is why I breathe".

The feeling of loving people gives me purpose.

I am very happy that we can not truly describe the feeling of love... that our words can not do justice for explaining when we feel as if we have purpose. It grounds me. Reminds me that just as I am a rational being I am also an emotional being. That when a friend weeps in pain I am so connected with that feeling that I weep a long side them without a moments thought. That when a friend is angry or frustrated I can feel that without them voicing it.

We've spent so much time trying to rationalize the world... that we forget to just be for a while. That there are questions we can never answer and that is okay. Maybe if we began caring for one another listening to one another laughing crying actually enjoying life with strangers as we do with a good friend things will begin to feel as if it makes sense... maybe life will be better... maybe we'll find that feeling of purpose within each other.

blessings love...