so this picture freaks me out... yet someone called it beautiful.
... so one of the main reasons I decided to leave school to take a break was to help ground myself. I'm not going to say find myself because that concept doesn't make sense to me. I guess what I was hoping to do was slow down. figure some things out. get my self mentally prepared before this next step. read what i felt like i needed to be reading. i have to say there's been moments that I wondered if I made the wrong decision and other moments when I've felt that it was time to walk away.
So in this time of grounding myself... I had to figure out where I was. Since Junior year of high school it seems I have been writing my thoughts in a notebook. Every year there was something different... and sometimes similar things... so this blog is an ode to those thoughts from the past. I sat today and read through all of them and highlighted things I found to be important. Here are a few I felt were worth sharing... for the most part each line is an independent thought. and the lines distinguish a different book.
1/07- i live to see the world and where exactly beauty resides, so give me hope and wings to soar and fly
1/2/07- since i am growing up there will be times when i will be alone and i will feel unprotected what will i do then
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5/20 why there and why then...i try to wonder did god set these two people up to meet..
as human beings we need purpose, we need motivation to keep going. so if i didnt believe i wouldnt know what i was living for...
i would type but i feel i need to write...it's more personal
i feel that i dont get that much accomplished because i still try to be like everyone else when im not like everyone else at all
5/21/08 its always weird thinking about the future
we hope or wish for things...but do we have a path already laid out for us
its hard to believe that this present will soon not be relevant to me
like we only use 10% of our brain
i dnt mind letting people in...in fact this is the reason for me working on being a better friend
what is it that we ultimately search for in life
5/29 people need a reason to breathe, to live
10/29/08 the biggest thing im working on is seeing what it means to stay true to myself...god bless
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these in the brown book didnt have date
what do we do to equal the playing field for those exiting the system
"we are not afraid of the darkness we trust the moon will guide us" -saul williams
therefore, there is no truth.
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ill stop there... and on that last thought... i believe in truth just to clarify... but i guess once i was unsure of it... my point is this... be aware of yourself and do not be ashamed at where your mind has wondered... for a long time i would never read what i wrote because... actually i have no idea why..however reading it now i found that a lot of things i found to be questioning today, i was questioning then. i guess now i just feel the need to find things quicker.
i never really thought about how i would leave apu... like i never visualized my self graduating from there yet i didnt ever think i would just leave either. today, right now, im unsure of many things but i am sure of the fact that great things are coming my way...
quote of the day:
"silence is an opinion" -justine jacobs
random thoughts:
this morning yoga made me feel normal... what ever that means
i am afraid of my potential
taking thing slowly is such a great idea
this blog is therapy for me
im working on my problem with fear
time will tell with all things.
hope all is well with you..
1/2/07- since i am growing up there will be times when i will be alone and i will feel unprotected what will i do then
__________________________________
5/20 why there and why then...i try to wonder did god set these two people up to meet..
as human beings we need purpose, we need motivation to keep going. so if i didnt believe i wouldnt know what i was living for...
i would type but i feel i need to write...it's more personal
i feel that i dont get that much accomplished because i still try to be like everyone else when im not like everyone else at all
5/21/08 its always weird thinking about the future
we hope or wish for things...but do we have a path already laid out for us
its hard to believe that this present will soon not be relevant to me
like we only use 10% of our brain
i dnt mind letting people in...in fact this is the reason for me working on being a better friend
what is it that we ultimately search for in life
5/29 people need a reason to breathe, to live
10/29/08 the biggest thing im working on is seeing what it means to stay true to myself...god bless
__________________________________________________________________
these in the brown book didnt have date
what do we do to equal the playing field for those exiting the system
"we are not afraid of the darkness we trust the moon will guide us" -saul williams
therefore, there is no truth.
__________________________________________________________________
ill stop there... and on that last thought... i believe in truth just to clarify... but i guess once i was unsure of it... my point is this... be aware of yourself and do not be ashamed at where your mind has wondered... for a long time i would never read what i wrote because... actually i have no idea why..however reading it now i found that a lot of things i found to be questioning today, i was questioning then. i guess now i just feel the need to find things quicker.
i never really thought about how i would leave apu... like i never visualized my self graduating from there yet i didnt ever think i would just leave either. today, right now, im unsure of many things but i am sure of the fact that great things are coming my way...
quote of the day:
"silence is an opinion" -justine jacobs
random thoughts:
this morning yoga made me feel normal... what ever that means
i am afraid of my potential
taking thing slowly is such a great idea
this blog is therapy for me
im working on my problem with fear
time will tell with all things.
hope all is well with you..
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